on leaving the country

So, I recently flew to canada and back with Ruthie. Here is an important note: Dads and at least sketchy looking moms must have a certified letter of consent in order to cross the border to canada or mexico. Apparently, this applies less if your wife is taking your baby solo to switzerland (mine got through with no questions asked).

I, however, was stopped at the border. They wanted to call my wife. Unfortunately, her cell phone was in my pocket (sucks for her). They called my mother-in-law. Then she got them a number for my wife. Lots of questions were asked. Border control says to my wife, "do you know he's leaving the country with your child and he doesn't have a return ticket?" My wife says, "oh, he does have a ticket. I bought it for him." It was all very insecure security. I made the plane, but it was touch and go.

lesson learned. when stealing a baby and leaving the country, make sure to bring a woman along or to have some character actors ready to play family over the phone.

Ruthie, btw, was a menace on the way home. Ratio of poops to naps = 3/0