Solid

We recently introduced solid food. All is good now but the process was fraught with blunders, gaffes, and faux pas's (We seem to have misplaced her manual... so we are flying by the seat of our pants... WE LIVE ON THE EDGE, DAGNABIT!). First, we started with the rice cereal stuff, and when we first put some in her mouth you'd have thought we poisoned her. She clearly hated it. The doctor's instructions had been "Start giving her the rice cereal. After a few days she will start holding her mouth open in anticipation of said cereal." This was clearly not happening. In fact, after a few days she realized if she closed her mouth, we couldn't put any of the offending material in her mouth. Then it bound her up tight for like four days. This involved calls to the doctor, trying to get her to drink apple juice ("You can't fool me with this "juice", give me my dang milk! (we've already trained her not to use swear words)), unceremonious, dignity offending medications, and waiting. Things are now unbinding. First we switched to the oat cereal. Then we introduced apple sauce and she stopped fighting us. Then sweet potatos, and now peas, and she actually seems to like eating solid food. The only remaining problem... she is super gassy.

Oh the things they'll see!

Sent from daycare today (my response = "Woah"):

Good afternoon,

I just wanted to let everyone know that there was a little bit of excitement at our center this morning; our young toddlers were witnesses.  Miss R, one of our teachers fell, injuring her knee, and emergency services were called.  Little did I know that part of the emergency services included a first responder fire engine and an ambulance!  Miss R was taken to a hospital to be examined by a doctor as a precaution.  At this time it is not clear if she will be able to return before Monday.  I will keep parents informed of how Miss R is doing and details on her return as information becomes available.   If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact me.  Thanks!

Video monitors?

So my wife thinks video monitors are weird. My buddy Scinestro, a sometime contributor to this blog, has an amazing, dual channel video monitor with a flat screen monitor that switches channels between your two kids. Wow. It's really cool. Personally, it seems like it would be hysterical to see what the Bear is doing in her crib for the half hour she's up in the morning partying with herself. Is that an invasion of her tiny baby privacy?

Are video monitors weird?

baby hugs!

Seriously, nothing is better than baby hugs. This morning, I was singing the Lime in the Coconut song while making Ruthie a sandwich.

"He put the lime in the coconut, he call it doctor woke him up. I said, Doctor! Ain't there nothing I can take? Doctor, to relieve this belly ache." As I get to the belly ache part I slap my belly to the rhythm of the song.  Ruthie slaps her belly. I walk over so she can slap my belly too (much better resonance) when I get a surprise, two armed hug! Complete with daddy-adoring smile. It's too bad she's going to find me ridiculously embarrassing when she's older.

Dress yourself! (or what happens to E happens to G)

Me, "Here Rue, which of these shirts do you want to wear?"
Ruthie: Hugs shirts to chest
Me: "No sweety, you have to choose one"
Ruthie: "koose one!" Hands both shirts back to me
Me: "No, no, Which one do you like?" Hand shirts back to baby.
Ruthie: Takes shirts back from me but drops one on the way.
Me: "great choice! Orange Jimmy Hendrix shirt it is!"

So, I am going to post a couple of things found through We Love You So, a blog by the people making Where The Wild Things Are.

Author Tomi Ungerer crated some great books that I have fond memories of from when I was a kid. I particularly remember The Three Robbers. A fortuitous event that his books are being re-published by British publisher Phaidon, which makes up for that fact that they have been out of print for some time, even though I didn't know they were out of print.

Why do you have a problem if I sit at an outdoor cafe drinking a beer with my baby in my lap?

Sheer Terror

The Girl has just learned to roll over. This is mostly a good thing. But in the crib its giving me the heebie jeebies. You put her down and she immediately curls up her legs and rolls on her side. Then its face down. Now, I was not the best reader when it cam to preparing for the baby. There was a bunch of stuff that I should have read about pregnancy, and labor and birth n' stuff which I didn't start reading until like week 37. It was sort of like cramming for a test. Except then most of it ended up not really mattering anyway... But I digress. So, one of the few things I did actually absorb was that The Girl should sleep on her back... which she has done under our ever vigilant first time parent eyes (and by ever vigilant I mean pathologically paranoid). We even had these bumper things to keep her from rolling over. But now, now she can roll around to her hearts content, and so I consulted What to Expect The First Year (Which I like to call "Everything and Anything You Should Be Worried About When You Have a Baby") and it said that once The Girl can roll over on her own there's nothing you can do about sleeping position, she can get off her stomach on her own. So, after my initial shock at not being told that I was "Doing It Wrong", I was able to attain a modicum of relief, although I still suffer a moment of panic whenever I see her faceplanted in the crib.

falling down

so ruthie took a fall on concrete while high stepping about outside the restaurant we were eating in. Her mother was walking with her. Everyone says, "boy, I'm sure glad it was her mom and not me watching her..."

Which brings me to my point. Our kids are going to fall down and they are probably going to break an arm at some point. There is NOTHING we can do about it. Not that we shouldn't care for our children, but falling down and hurting yourself is an essential part of learning courage and toughness. Run around after them all you like, you'd do better to teach them to recognize in your voice when something is important and to respond to stop! 

Me: What should we wear today?

The Girl: ...
Me: How about this?
The Girl: ...
Me: It has giraffe driving a truck...
The Girl: ...
Me: Ha ha ha...
The Girl: ...
Me: Ha ha ha... (pause)... ha ha ha
The Girl: ...
Me: ...
The Girl: ...
Me: ... giraffe driving a truck...

on leaving the country

So, I recently flew to canada and back with Ruthie. Here is an important note: Dads and at least sketchy looking moms must have a certified letter of consent in order to cross the border to canada or mexico. Apparently, this applies less if your wife is taking your baby solo to switzerland (mine got through with no questions asked).

I, however, was stopped at the border. They wanted to call my wife. Unfortunately, her cell phone was in my pocket (sucks for her). They called my mother-in-law. Then she got them a number for my wife. Lots of questions were asked. Border control says to my wife, "do you know he's leaving the country with your child and he doesn't have a return ticket?" My wife says, "oh, he does have a ticket. I bought it for him." It was all very insecure security. I made the plane, but it was touch and go.

lesson learned. when stealing a baby and leaving the country, make sure to bring a woman along or to have some character actors ready to play family over the phone.

Ruthie, btw, was a menace on the way home. Ratio of poops to naps = 3/0

Gene Splicing

I am always hot. In the summer, the AC is cranked. My wife is under several blankets. I have no blankets and am sweating. My wife has poor circulation in her extremities, so her extremities are always cold. My daughter is hot hot hot, with cold feet.

wiping down

So I told Bender (Jon) my one piece of advice on girls: "wipe down." He was not impressed.

11:09 AM me: hey daddy

  ?

  I mean how's it going?

  did I give you my one important piece of daddy advice?

11:10 AM really of infant advice, I have one additional piece of toddler advice

11:12 AM Jon: doing well...fire away

11:15 AM me: wipe down

 Jon: always do

11:17 AM me: :)

26 minutes

11:44 AM me: how's charlotte sleeping?

  how's your wife feeling?

  is she up and walking?

11:49 AM Jon: She's doing a good job, giving us some rest between feedings. my wife is amazing and doing really well. My wife is walking, the baby is still learning to walk.

11:50 AM me: well, even genius babies have priorities

11:55 AM Jon: thanks for the tip, dork

11:56 AM me: it's important. on a boy, you can wipe any old direction.  

I mean, it's obvious and all, but not something that springs to mind when your holding two feet in one hand and trying to keep the bottom layer of clean diaper in place with your other hand while wiping...

a cynic enters the field

So, I just joined this blog called, "Dads and Cynics". Sounds right up my alley since I am both a dad and a cynic. Therefore, I am proud to be a founding 'father' of this blog, but I don't think it will be very good.